Friday, August 18, 2017

Surreal feeling.

I am going to be a mother. Its surreal and unimaginable. At times, I would feel proud when my baby moves when I touch/rub my belly and doesnt move when everybody else did it. It feels like, yes I'm your mother, we're gonna grow so attached to each other. I cant wait. Whenever my baby moves, I would whisper, are you hungry? Are you tired? Are you bored? Mummy's here.

But I am scared. I am scared of being a mother. What if my baby will turn out as bad as me? What if the world would be terrible and cruel for my baby to grow? Is it wrong for me to expect a child when the world is not a better place anymore? I am scared that the world is becoming worst for my baby. I am scared of the society, the people. I am scared of ending of the world. Will us as a parents can endure the pain, the suffering, also for my baby? I am so scared.

But I believe in Allah's decision. If He believes that now is the best time for us to be a parents, it will be. We will endure it, cherish it. I believe that everything in life happens in Allah's will.

"If its meant to be, it will be."

And whatever happens, I will accept it. And I should always remind myself that rezeki is always there, Allah akan turunkan rezeki if we work hard for it. And dont ever lose faith on Him.

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Such blessings

Alhamdulillah. Its been a hectic month for us and husband struggling to find a job with fixed income and whatnot. So yesterday, I had my monthly check ups. And alhamdulillah, my HB is now 11.4. No more anemiaaaaaaaa. BUT, I kne kencing kotor pulak. They detected bacteria in my urine. So they give me medication to treat it. They said its normal for pregnant ladies to experience it but very dangerous also.

Anyways, yesterday husband got another interview for mechanical foreman in the evening. So after my check ups, he went to the interview. And guess what? He got the job! Alhamdulillah! And I tell you, the benefit he got is very advantageous. Its like the benefit for managerial level person in the company I'm working now! Tak kacau basic gaji lansung. Plus, eventhough his position is like technician cum foreman, they hire person still bagi dia gaji basic degree, okay. Because if you all semua aware kan, if we apply jobs that doesnt suit our degree, but based on our experience, they still gonna give you basic ikut job scope tau. Regardless la you degree ke apa. Its such a blessings and I know sooner or later, life would get better. I mean, now its good and I know its gonna be a lot better, in sha Allah.

So today, husband dah start keje kt site, dekat dgn rumah pulak tu! Jalan Ampang. And very near plus husband naik moto. Dah la minyak, toll semua bole claim! Alhamdulillah. God is such generous in so many ways. HE puts us in hardships and see how much we remembers HIM and now this. We are so blessed :')

And yesterday also, I went to the dentist for my 1st phase of root canal and tampal gigi. It costs me RM420 for the whole treatment. Of course, expected, from Swasta. Plus, I already called beforehand to confirm the price so yeah. And I dont mind also since been suffering toothache for such long time already and I hate going to the dentists. I think the last time I went was like few years back? And yesterday's treatment was excruciating. I mean, for someone like me, couldnt stay still for such long time, always feeling restless whatnot, so for a treatment of an hour plus, I had it for 2 hours+! The dentist was very gentle and keep on telling me to relax but I just couldnt. Hahahahah I cant imagine if I went to Kerajaan. I would be slapped on the face. So for me, its worth the price. And yes, I very much needed it. Now, no longer toothache, alhamdulillah. Just I have to be very strict on my teeth treatment. After confinement nanti baru decide whether I should continue with my root canal or cabut je. I should start caring so much for my teeth. Lets start first with dental check-ups every 6 months. As if I would commit. But I should, right? To avoid having this kind of problems again and affect me financially. Because the price is higher when the problem becomes bigger. But I just hate going to the dentist. Its scary.

Anyways, so a lot of good things happened yesterday and I am just glad. Allah is generous and I should never ever doubt that.

So I am at week 31! Few more months to go! I'm scared. And havent decide where to beranak yet. I should decide by next week, no? I just hope everything would go smoothly, in sha Allah.

Okay, I hope husband is doing okay on his first day of work.

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥


Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Thoughts.

I am still contemplating a lot of things. And I hate my impulsive buying now. I mean, sekali nampak suka je, terus pm and agree nak beli. And whatever if I ask my husband bole tak nak beli itu ini, dia mesti akan jawab, bole je. Its your money. And no, I never had any intention of asking him to buy for me. Just for the sake of maybe he could help me control my impulsive buying attitude. But I think its no use. Because everytime he said no, I would sulk and said, alaa pleaseee I've been wanting this for such long time already etc etc and end up, I would buy. 

Knowing myself, I would think thousand times when I want to buy something. But now, I dont know where is that thought. I would just BUY. End up, bought a longchamp (ciplak) punya bag and not liking it. Baru sampai semalam and tak pakai pun lagi. Today, I caught an eye to another bag. And quickly pm to buy. But this time, I asked my baby sister's opinion. She said she'll find me another one with cheaper price and a lot cantik and worthy. I dont know what's going on with me. Am I being selfish? I know I should be worrying over some other MORE IMPORTANT things than this. Like KAT MANA NAK BERANAK and BARANG BABY. Yea, I havent decide kt mana nak beranak yet. And seriously, I feel like I am being super selfish if I choose to spend thousands for 2 days 1 night when I can just spend hundreds in Hospital Kerajaan. And the money I saved previously can be used for so many other purposes. I dont know. My husband and my mom are in complete disagreement with me. But I dont know. I just couldnt decide yet. Its frustrating. And I already had my mind set on Hospital Kerajaan but ntah lahhhh....

I only left with few stuffs to buy for barang baby. And I still have to spare money for pantang. And A LOT OF OTHER STUFFS. Actually I am just tired of having to save money. I want to splurge. And I am in need of new phone now. But I dont know whether I want to buy now or not. I mean, its a NEED. 

So really, I dont have my mind set for everything yet. And still thinking. And its tiring. And I am tired. Mentally and physically. 

I feel sorry for my baby. For thinking of all the hardships now. Baby must've been feeling like baby's a burden but you're not. You're a blessing. Its just mummy. Mummy complicates things. And I hate being me now.

Wasalam. Love, Nina M ♥ 


Monday, August 14, 2017

Cosrx Centella Blemish Cream & Klairs Rich Soothing Cream

*gambar ihsan google* 

Not really a skincare addict but somehow I just need to review about this. I am sooooooooo (seriously sangat) naive especially when it comes to skincare. And let alone nak buat research about this. I always depends on peer's talk regarding all this Korean products, or drugstore. So this one was introduced by my best friend, Anis. She's really into all this Korean skincare. Especially natural ones. I mean, she will definitely go deep on the ingredients, regardless of how pricey it is. But not me. I tend to find something with affordable price. Haha. So I am actually an Innisfree user. Before this, I use cetaphil. But I got bored of how dull and gloomy my skincare is. True, Cetaphil is great. Recommended by my dermatologist. There's this one time, during my uni years, my eczema naik kat muka. And its irritating. So I depended on doc's med. Too bad that I have sensitive skin. But now, dah takde la. So I tried Innisfree since people said that its mostly natural. So I went to Innisfree, tried few. Totally naive. Green tea set was good but the moisturizer does no wonder to my skin. I mean, its good. But I dont feel any GEMPAK changes to my skin. But I tell you, I still stick to the cleanser and toner because when it comes to sensitive skin, you gotta be very picky and thorough when choosing. So since its affordable (my top priority) and doesnt irritate my skin, I am still using those two. As for moisturizer, I am contemplating on what to use. So Anis recommended this. Since I am struggling over my blemishes and breakouts. Its annoying. 

The thing is, I thought this can be used daily and as a moisturizer but turns out, its a balm, to avoid breakouts and clear scars. Ha ha nina being so noob again. Dah nak habis pakai dah pun. But remembering ever since I use this balm, I havent had breakouts for such long time now. I dont know whether its my pregnancy hormone or what, but my face is improving. I mean, not much obvious scars. Just the ones I used to picit and keep doing it again and again. Soooo nina... It took a while to show obvious results but I guess that's normal when it comes to products that use MOSTLY natural stuffs, right? By means of obvious results, means no scars what not. But results can be seen overnight. I mean, if you wear it during the day, does it irritate your skin? Does it cause reddish? What not. Like that laa. So, am I gonna repurchase this? Definitely! After my paycheck. Hahahahah. Since I just knew that this is not a moisturizer, I need to find a replacement. 


*gambar ihsan google*


So on Saturday, Klairs ada bukak pop-up store kt MidValley. Klairs is actually a Korean product, only available online (same goes with Cosrx), hermo.my. So bila dia buat pop-up store ni, is fun because no shipping fee and you can directly purchase it! So since I need a moisturizer, Anis recommended Klairs. Since its best selling, also a natural product. I purchased this with 15% off! And no shipping fee also. And used it twice already. I have a dry and sensitive skin. For 2 days using this, it does not irritate my skin and very soft and supply, yes to my liking. And I hope it'll do much for my skin and I am so lazy to drink a lot of plain water. Too early to make review on it but its not much sticky after a while applying and still keeping my skin soft. 

I am now looking for serum. Been eyeing for Innisfree green tea seed serum but its priceyyyyy. Its RM98 in store but only cost RM71.90 at Hermo! But too bad I am still contemplating because I cant claim points if I buy at Hermo. I need those points! I really want to get rid of the scars and I want flawless skin!!! Still surveying over other products. And so totally refer to Anis. But all her recommended products are so mahal. Hahahaha. I am so cheap and really thinking twice or 50 thousand times when it comes to pricey stuff! And always putting price on the top when choosing stuffs. 

I am now at 30 weeks baby! Cant wait to see my baby. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥ 


Friday, August 4, 2017

Pregnancy update.

I am at 29 weeks now! Entering 3rd trimester, alhamdulillah. Baby's moving so so so very much now. And ITS GOOD. Except that my back pain is so bad that sitting down for such long time is really uncomfortable now. And I cant eat so much at one time. If I do, I'll end up having heart burn for NOT a short while. It feels like extreme bloating. And driving home from work also painful. And you know the tingling feeling inside tummy of baby's movement? Its not tingling anymore. ITS A KICK & PUNCH & TANDUK. Really, he is kicking very hard now. Its weird but I love it. The reason why I rarely update now is that I cant sit down for so long now. And a day at work is excruciating enough. So after a hard and painful drive home, all I want is to just walk or lie down.

There's a lot of things going on. Alhamdulillah, my HB is increasing! Attended weddings, check-ups (scan baby) and got new niece this morning! So I'll let all the pictures do the talking since now I only want to walk somewhere.



Adik's wedding. 



  
Duya & Ari's wedding. Dont ask me where's the baby bump. Its there. Hahaha. 



And beholdddddd, IVY AMANI BINTI MUHAMMAD NASIRUDDIN. 

Cant wait to meet you Ivy. Going straight to the hospital after work today and gotta get home before 8pm since we're going to Terengganu tonight for Ain's wedding. So excited for this trip. But hello back pain. 

Okay, need to walk a bit now. 

Wasalam. Love, Nina M. ♥